This post is part of the devotional I was asked to write for a recently published devotional book called “Let Your Light Shine.” More details below.
Several months ago I woke up in the middle of a nightmare with a traumatic flashback fresh in my mind. My heart was racing, my chest was tight and my body was drenched in sweat. I tried to shove the memories playing in my head to the side, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of sheer panic. In my delirium I struggled to catch a breath and got up to splash some water on my face.
The cold water refreshed me as it washed away my beads of sweat, but seconds later I felt tears taking their place. Usually I would have stopped the water works from getting too out of control. You know, stuff the tears back where they came from. But this time, as the rolled down my cheek, I didn’t try to stop them. Like a rushing river I just let them flow.
I looked at myself in the mirror and scowled. What’s wrong with you? Seriously … you’re pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself right now. I knew these thoughts were lies from the enemy, but the longer I stared at myself the more I started to consider them. Sure, there is always hope in Jesus, but part of me felt hopeless, like a Humpty-Dumpty who could never be put back together again.
Darkness has a way of making us question who we really are.
If you’ve seen any of the Star Wars movies, you’re probably familiar with the Force. There’s the Living Force (i.e. Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi) but there is also a Dark Side (i.e. the Sith and Darth Vader). Here’s the thing: Vader didn’t always belong to the Dark Side. Like so many of us he began his journey as an innocent, wide-eyed child of the day. But somewhere along the way the darkness found him, and it made him question who he was. Suddenly he was lost and confused — fighting a battle against light and dark while forgetting his true character.
Friends, we too face a similar battle each and every day. There is an enemy. There is darkness. And it will do everything it can to blindside us and steal our joy and identity in Christ.
On the night of my flashback several months ago, I was blindsided by my past — by something I thought I’d dealt with but was resurfacing once again. The darkness found me and the enemy was trying to beat me down.
But I know better.
And deep in my soul, I know the Jesus inside of me is stronger than the darkness that threatens to overtake me.
For I know, as the Word says in 1 Thessalonians 5:5, that I am a daughter of the light and of the day; I don’t belong to darkness and night.
I am a child of God. A child of the light and of the day. A child with 24/7 access to joy, love, peace, hope and the power of the Holy Spirit. A child whose Daddy loves her no matter what. A child who can face the darkness because the light inside her can help her overcome anything.
Join me in reading the rest of this devotional that I wrote for Sweet to The Soul’s September “Light Shine” Bible study.