I hadn’t even started unpacking my suitcase yet from our trip visiting family in Indiana, and he was already getting ready to head out the door again.
“I don’t want you to go,” I cried. “Please, can I just come with you?”
My husband looked at me with a sadness I’ve only seen a handful of times in our marriage. “Sweetie,” he said. “I wish you could. You know I do. But you also know you can’t.”
He was right. I had a job to go to and a dog to take care of. But that didn’t stop the loneliness from creeping in whenever he left to go on a business trip. And it certainly didn’t stop the tears or sleepless nights from coming.
It’s funny — I’ve always been a very independent woman. The kind of woman who traveled to live in far-off places for internships. The kind of woman who worked diligently to become the editor and chief of her campus magazine. The kind of woman who planned a wedding 100% on her own. And yet, since I’ve been married, I repeatedly struggle with loneliness when my husband has to travel for work. It’s something I remember experiencing when I was younger. Back when I wondered if anyone cared about or actually noticed me. I don’t wonder those same kind of thoughts anymore, but what I’m realizing is that even though I am highly independent and know that I am loved and valued, I just don’t like to be alone. Because I have found that the opportune moment for the enemy to strike is when I’m all alone.
A fellow Christian writer recently wrote that the ache of loneliness can be so intense that it immobilizes us and keeps us stuck in our sadness. And she’s right. The chains of loneliness are one of the enemy’s go-to weapons. His desire is for us to feel abandoned. His desire is for us to feel forgotten. His desire is for us to feel like we’ll never escape our past. His desire is for us to feel like things are pointless or hopeless. But none of those feelings are Biblical.
The honest me will admit that, no, I don’t like to be alone. There’s a part of me — a part of my past — that fears the silence. And there’s parts of my past and present that God is still redeeming and healing. But if I had to guess, I think God gave me a traveling husband for a little while so that I could practice claiming His truths and taking shots at the enemy. So that I can learn to rely on Him and Him alone. It’s painful, but no doubt needed.
So amid the dreaded goodbyes and tear-stained cheeks, I’m making a choice. A choice to embrace the lonely nights as a chance to dive deeper into the Word. Deeper into my Father’s arms. Deeper into the truth. Deeper in grace, love and wholeness.
In our loneliness we can either let the enemy win, or we can claim God’s truths over our lives.
The following seven verses are truths you can claim when you feel all alone.
They’ve been incredibly helpful for me, and my prayer is they will minister to your heart as well. (If you have another verse that you think would be great for others who struggle with occasional loneliness, please share that in the comments below!)
“The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)
“For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper.” Psalm 72:12 (ESV)
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.” Psalm 68:5-6 (NIV)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 (NLT)
“The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:17-18 (NLT)
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” Isaiah 43:1-3 (NLT)
Wow this post touches my heart. I have been fighting with loneliness all year. There is so much growing and changing happening in my life and my friends are drifting in all different directions. I have had to dig so deep and lean into God which has caused me to grow so much. I’m so thankful for this opportunity to find God when I so badly need him.
I wish I could just run over to your doorstep with a hot dish and we could hang out for awhile! <3 Praying that God will minister to your heart and comfort you in this season of growth and change. Hoping we can meet in person someday!
Angela Howard says
Thank you for sharing these verses Lauren. I do experience loneliness but not from being physically alone. It’s more from not feeling understood or having people who share my life experiences. Ultimately, my sense of loneliness is comforted by the deep sense that God truly knows better than anyone EVERYTHING I face on a daily basis and this is the truth. Visiting from #LMMLinkup today 🙂
Hi, Angela. As someone who has a chronic illness, I can relate to that kind of loneliness too. But I am comforted by knowing that Jesus ALWAYS understands me and He knows exactly what I am going through. Hebrews 4:15 helps remind me of this, too. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Love, hugs and blessings to you sweet friend. So nice to meet you, and don’t be a stranger!!
Beckie Lindsey says
Loneliness is the pits! I’ve been stuck in a pit more times than I want to remember. The only way to get out and stay out is with the Lord’s help! His word is powerful. Thanks for sharing.
I’m your neighbor on #LMMLinkup.
So true, Beckie! Thankful that God is always there to pull us out of the pit. Have a blessed day!
There is so much comfort in our Father’s promises. Thankful for these reminders. <3
<3 Amen, sister! And thank you for reading.
Melanie Redd says
What an encouraging word, Lauren!
I love Isaiah 43 – how He walks through those waters with us!
Thanks for sharing such a sweet message of hope today~
Thank you, Melanie! May the God of hope fill you with His joy today.
Oh, Lauren I know a lot of women who struggle with this! This touches home for me as well since my husband is a fireman and is often gone 3 days at a time. I love how you said that God uses these times to help you claim His truths and take shots at the enemy. And these are such comforting verses too!
I’m glad this post could speak to you, dear Valerie! It’s so hard once you have a husband to have them gone! But God is our rock and constant companion, no matter what’s going on around us. Have a great day!
SHANNON GEURIN says
PERFECT for me today, dear friend! Thank you!!!
Hugs to you, dear Shannon! Wish we could go get coffee!!
Tiffany Parry says
Such great perspective, Lauren. You sought and found the good in the least ideal situation. So glad that you were able to cling to God – which I know doesn’t make us miss our guys any less – but allows us to find our strength in Him. And if all else fails, I’ve found a good chick flick and chocolate also fill up the quiet. 😉 xoxo
Yes! I still miss Alex for sure, but I can rest in God knowing He is my all in all.
Elizabeth Meyers says
As a military spouse, I’m very familiar with pushing through alone. Thank you for sharing these encouraging verses!
Sarah Geringer says
Loneliness has been a frequent companion of mine as a child of divorce. I also struggle with the fear of abandonment. But God has used my pain and loneliness to draw me so close to him. As I look back over the past, I can see how he has transformed my loneliness and fear into a ministry to others. For that I can be thankful.
God is so good to us, amen? Thank you for sharing part of your journey here, Sarah. My prayer is God would continue to drive out any fear of abandonment the enemy tries to throw at you. You are loved, dear sister!
This is perfectly timed. My husband just left this morning and won’t be back for a couple of days. Like you I’ve always been independent, but we moved a few years ago and I haven’t felt like I belong in my new home. This makes it extra harder when he leaves. I am going to take these verses and spend time writing them out over the next few days. I am so glad you shared this on Grace & Truth today!
Lori Schumaker says
Such comforting verses. There is a freedom unlike any other when we can allow Christ to fill our every need. And you are so wisely doing just that! Taking what the enemy would like to use to increase your fear, and fighting with the Word of God. As you fill your mind and heart with God’s promises and cancel out the whispers of the enemy, his power over you is broken. God is for you, sweet friend, and the enemy might as well just get out NOW!
Amen! God’s Word is the ultimate source of comfort!
Aimee Imbeau says
In the first year of our marriage, my husband got job in another town and was gone for about 3 days at a time. I remember how hard that was for me. I hated not having him around…and after almost 20 years, I still hate when he is gone! Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth, Lauren!